I don’t want to talk to your ego any more than I want to talk with my own ego. The Shosan always starts with bowing precisely because that helps us not to speak with the ego, in order not to sully the Dharma. But, in the same way, you should listen with the Dharma ear and not the ear of the ego. I mean listen with empty ears, without intentions, without seeking to dissect, analyze, or understand intellectually.
Over the last three weeks I have been talking about the well-known image that Master Sekito uses in the Sandokai, one of the fundamental texts of our tradition. “Return ceaselessly to the source. At least be aware that sometimes you are flowing in muddy tributaries.” This image goes to the heart of our practice. From the ego’s point of view we might think to ourselves, “There are all sorts of things in mud. The are even nuggets of gold!”
What pushes us to turn toward the Buddha Way is our deep dissatisfaction. What we call dukkha, suffering. That’s what brings us to Buddha’s teaching.
Buddha’s Way is the ultimate reality of all existence. Zen masters tell us, “You are part of that ultimate reality! Of course you are! Don’t make the mistake of looking for a way to reach that ultimate reality because there is no way. Either you’re on the bank or you’re in the river. You can’t be both on the bank and in the river. You can’t be outside reality and in reality at the same time.”
It’s easy to see that our life is made of suffering, dissatisfaction, anger, misunderstanding, doubt, greed, fear, despair, and the list goes on and on. It’s easy to see that something’s wrong.
Maybe we try to analyze the situation we find ourselves in so we can avoid falling into the same trap again. But if we don’t fall into the same trap we’ll still fall into another and, anyway, it’s not always useful to spend time trying to understand what happened in the past. You have to know that there is an infinite number of traps and that, in each here-and-now situation that you might be called upon to live in, you might sink or you might swim.
That’s why it’s not necessary to look for explanations. On the other hand, it is useful to understand that we are manipulated by our karma, that we are not free but rather manipulated our past errors, fears, greed and violence. It is good to become aware, at least once in our life, that certain forces within us push us to make mistakes. It is also good to realize that there does exist a method, a way of living, that allows us to avoid being systematically fooled and misled by our own karma.
I emphasize that because everyone has the same problem. Everyone would like to find a situation free of suffering. Buddha tells us that doesn’t exist. We’d like to figure out how we got into this situation in order to avoid it in the future but, because we are ignorant of the Dharma, we will keep on tripping over the carpet, being dissatisfied, transmigrating again and again into violence, disgust, hatred, and anger and all the rest of it.
So if we think about the past it should be in order to see within ourselves the karmic impulses that keep pushing us back into the same old ruts. And that’s all. There’s no use looking for explanations. The reasons that have led us to take on the form we have now, to carry the karma we have now, are lost in the faraway past.
Hanging on to our memories, our emotions, our problems, is like grasping at bits of mud in order to quench our thirst. It’s totally wrong. We have got to understand that the three poisons - ignorance, violence, and greed - are at work in that muddy water. But our Buddha nature is there too, the very essence, the living phenomenon, the forever pure and present source. There is no need to go looking for it in the mists of the past.
When did I really take form? We can go back millions of years. Science tells us that the form we take today is the product of a very long evolution. But the problem that I have to deal with personally is how to live with that karma. Right in that situation, here and now, there exists the possibility of happiness. That’s Buddha’s teaching. He doesn’t tell us to look to others for answers. He doesn’t require us to be intelligent or to have studied. He asks us simply to understand what we need.
When am I happy? When am I unhappy? I have been happy without a penny in my pocket. I have been happy in far away countries with no friends or contacts. I have been happy alone and I have been happy in a crowd. We need to understand that there is something that makes us happy and that doesn’t depend on the situation.
That deep happiness, that deep joy, is the very essence of life and we all have it within us. We shouldn’t cover it up with garbage. We should always allow our Buddha nature to come to the surface. That Buddha nature is the mind that clings to nothing, the pure joy of existence, “forever pure water”. Even when muddied that water is always pure. It’s up to us to drink the water and not the mud. That is always possible.
In order to teach that, Zen masters use images like that of water muddied by our mental games, our accusations, our false beliefs, superstitions, illusions. Of course you’ve got to decide. Do you want to drink water or do you want to drink shit? That’s the question. All the teaching of the Zen masters comes down to that.
Another image (images aren’t reality but lets look at them with the meaning that Buddha gives them) is that of the monkey trap. To catch a monkey you attach a box with a coconut inside to the base of a coconut tree. The box has a hole in it the size of a monkey’s hand. The monkey comes along, puts his hand through the hole and grabs the coconut. When the men come out the monkey screams because he sees that he’s trapped. But he still won’t let go of the coconut! He’s a prisoner.
You might think that all he has to do is let go of the coconut and run. But he can’t do that because he wants both the coconut and his freedom. It is interesting to note that the monkey is the cleverest of animals. The great apes are very close to us neurologically. Their genetic makeup is 99 percent equivalent to that of human beings.
These intelligent animals are caught because of their intelligence. The monkey is trying to figure out a way to keep both the coconut and his freedom. A weasel, less intelligent, caught in a trap, is capable of chewing off his own paw in order to stay free. The monkey doesn’t even have to lose his hand. all he has to do is let go.
Human beings are very intelligent and, when caught between suffering and possible liberation from suffering, try to find a third way out. How can I use my intelligence to have my cake and eat it too? Humans are always looking for some technical answer.
Instead of doing that we would be better off going back to the point of origin. The point of origin of freedom for men and monkeys is letting go. What imprisons them is that they don’t know how to let go. There’s no need to go looking for the reason why we got into this situation. We can accuse other people, or talk about it for an entire lifetime, but the origin of suffering, of our loss of freedom, is right here and now.
That’s Buddha’s teaching. There is no third way by which we may get what we desire and remain free. It’s completely contradictory. So long as we are not really clear about that point the practice won’t interest us.
The person who clings to a thought, tries to analyze it, make excuses, or come up with clever way of not falling into traps, is wasting his time because freedom is right here and now. The problem isn’t about getting ahead or figuring out the why and the how of things. No. Right here and right now freedom is always our responsibility.
If the monkey can only see the coconut, if he can’t see the big picture - the sunlight in the branches, the forest, his friends, the fact that there is food elsewhere - then he’s making a mistake. Thinking that the coconut is important, that greed, fear, and anger are important, that’s the mistake.
Having greed, violence, and ignorance inside us is not the problem. We can’t get rid of them in this life. On the other hand, it is possible at every moment, despite our karma, to become Buddha, to awaken and manifest wisdom and compassion.
If we have managed to get through difficult situations we might be able to show understanding, compassion and wisdom towards people with problems. We would really know what we’re talking about.
Every situation is to be lived. Every situation is a teacher. Life forges our wisdom and compassion. But if you’re looking for a world without traps, without greed, violence, or ignorance, then you’re after utopia. That’s not the Buddha Way.
Master Tozan was a leper - a mental leper. Desperate about his situation, he said to his master, “My mind is sick.” The master said, “Bring me your mind and I will heal it.” Of course Tozan couldn’t bring his mind to the master. The mind isn’t a thing. That’s what I’m talking about.
Buddha’s teaching tells us that we are always Buddha, have always been Buddha, will always be Buddha. We are always a living phenomenon that only exists in the present moment. There are traces of karma, of past actions, bad memories, misunderstood or undigested, sometimes caused by others and sometimes by ourselves but that doesn’t matter. But even with all that history it is still possible to drink at the source, to find happiness.
Some people on their deathbed are happy right down to the last minute. Other people past the age of forty are in despair about aging, they worry and panic. They sour and become bitter. And yet it’s the same life. It’s just that the mind doesn’t understand that there exists right down to the last moment the pure joy of existence.
That’s Buddha’s teaching. Of course, I’m not always Buddha. I’ve got an ego like everyone else. But, in the end, if I look within, if I see the reality of the problem, then it’s all right. I can always accede to my own freedom.
